05 August 2004
MOVIE: HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (2004).
Two dudes get stoned and drive off in search of White Castle burgers. The title pretty much says it all and, if you've ever seen the seminal Dude, Where's My Car?, you also pretty much know what kind of movie you're getting into. I'll just go ahead and list some choice scenes: A med school interview gone wrong; a college East Asian Society club meeting; Wilson Phillip's Hold on for One More Day; a hitchhiking Dougie Hauser; something called "battleshits"; and my personal favorite, a dream sequence involving falling in love with a life-sized bag-o-weed mascot. (It sounds cliché. Until you see it.)
I laughed so hard during parts of the movie that my stomach hurt. It's been a good summer—between Anchorman and Napoleon Dynamite, I've developed abs of steel. Now granted, HAKGTWC (say "hack-git-wick") doesn't have chocolate chips in every bite, but I maintained a smile during those dead spots anyway. Maybe the fact that I've been rooting for this movie for a while now has something to do with it. Or, maybe it's the thrill of seeing the Geeky Minority (Orientals, Injuns) doing what they've secretly been doing all along, i.e. getting high, lusting after hot chicks, picking fights, &cetera. Not to mention the final scene in which Harold gets the girl. I can't remember the last time I've seen an Asian guy make out with The Hot Girl without a trace of irony.
Actually, it might be the first time.
Hey, just because you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you have to do porn.
02 August 2004
MOVIE: THE VILLAGE (2004).
A blind village girl must brave the forbidden woods in order to fetch medicines for her dying husband-to-be. Okay, so this movie has pissed off thousands of movie goers. Slate called M. Night Shyamalan the Village Idiot. I'm almost more interested in why his movie angers people than what I thought of the movie itself.
I think it's because The Village is an idea movie disguised as a surprise-ending horror flick. In fact, there is very little horror in the movie; plenty of mystery, yes, but very few scary bits. And this time around, Shyamalan doesn't pull a sudden twist of events on us. Actually, he eases us so gently toward the end that the story's revelation feels more emotionally substantial instead of being just plain clever. It might be a sign (ahem) that he's slowly getting over his trademark plot gimmicks and moving forward into serious dramatic territory.
Still, the film relies on a conceit that just doesn't seem very probable. The village bans the color red, for it supposedly attracts mythical beasts from the forbidden woods. Alone, I think that would've been a strong enough statement about contemporary paranoia, which is the central idea of the film. Its driving force, the blind daughter, challenges this fear by risking her life for the man she loves. "The world kneels before love in awe," says a village elder at one point, and it's at moments like these when we feel Shyamalan building real relationships with real emotions at stake. But when the film takes its long, slow curve into anti-surprise, all that intensity steps aside to make way for a disappointing plot device. It's a shame, because I still believe that Shyamalan is a skillful filmmaker who can tell a story with refreshingly subtle detail.
So. Maybe viewers were enraged because they were looking for a surprise Shocker to End All Shockers, but instead wound up with a half-baked plot omission. Maybe they just wanted more scary stuff for their money. Either that, or they understandably reject cleverness simply for the sake of cleverness.
That is what we have protected here: innocence!
01 August 2004
PHOTO DIARY.
 Yesterday me and, ahem, Nicki were lured into one of those 90 minute timeshare "presentations" for the promise of a free trip to Las Vegas, plus other goodies. In the waiting room sat a shabby scale model of some unnamed property in paradise. Catch up on your dreams! The whole thing felt like a scam. But we did get our prizes in the end.
 On the way there we passed the cryptically named Japanese Weekend Maternity store.
PHOTO DIARY.
 No, you're a tool. (Apologies.)
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