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	12 June 2004 PHOTO DIARY. Saw some colorful houses in Venice on my bike ride today.   Back to main 11 June 2004 MOVIE: THE STEPFORD WIVES (2004). The idyllic, wealthy enclave of Stepford harbors a secret among its women. Although if you've ever seen the preview, it's not much of a secret anymore. This wacky version is pretty much the opposite of the awesome (but dead-serious) 1975 original, trading in heavy social commentary for some really funny banter worthy of a good romantic comedy. The story starts out strong, with overblown gender-equality satire and silly visual puns (the women of Stepford all drive huge SUVs; the town's secretive Men's Club has a bronze plaque of a rooster out front). There's even some off-topic laughs brought in by a gay male character, as well as by another one of them brazen Jew-ladies (played by Bette Midler, who I mysteriously found enjoyable). Walken's here, doing his Walken thing, Matt Broderick charmingly stumbles around, and Nicole Kidman does a great job as usual. The film falters in the 2nd Act deathtrap, though. The usual symptoms: things stop making sense to the point of distraction, strange motivations appear out of nowhere, and tensions abruptly rachet up for no good reason. Disappointing, and a missed opportunity, too--it's been a while since we've had a great dark comedy. But at least stay till the end, just to see Glenn Close steal the show. She had the whole theater squirming like gleeful little children. Where would no one notice a town full of robots? Connecticut!   Back to main 10 June 2004 PHOTO DIARY. Robert hosted a Lakers party at his 9th floor condo just off of Sunset. It offers fanastic views of LA's three downtowns. Here's Westwood. We could also see the wacky Pacific Design Center nearby.   Back to main PHOTO DIARY. Advertisements on bananas. ADVERTISEMENTS. ON. BANANAS.   Back to main 07 June 2004 GAME: RATCHET & CLANK: GOING COMMANDO (2003). I can't believe it's better. For some mysterious reason, the first Ratchet & Clank was so freakin fun that it had me searching for every last secret, powerup, and cheat. Hadn't done that in a while. This sequel is no different. But then again -- it is different. It's better. Seriously, the hours flew by as I played all-new mini-games, traded secret platinum bolts for weapon upgrades, flew space dogfight missions, and more, more, more. I never managed to discover every last secret hidden in the game; instead, I wound up doing something equally time consuming, which was to patiently amass millions of bolts in order to buy weapons, just to see what they did. And given the sheer number of weapons available (something like 28, each with three levels of upgrades), I was collecting bolts for a long, long time. Usually in the wee hours while Nicki abandoned my sorry ass in favor of sleep. Many previous annoyances are fixed in this game. You can walk at normal speed (not half speed) on magnet walls. In addition to the bolt grabber, there's a "box breaker," which Hulk-smashes every breakable object within a certain radius. So-o-o satisfying. My favorite part of the game, however, was the Insomniac Museum, a secret level set on Planet Burbank. It contains developers' comments, deleted game elements, and even a create-your-own particle effects generator. GAMEPLAY: Satisfying; incredibly varied; tons of hidden goodies. REMINISCENT OF: The first R&C. LIBRARY-WORTHY? I'm already a fan, so I kinda have to say yes.   Back to main PHOTO DIARY. Nicki earned her first ding ever as a new driver while backing out of a parking garage. See, she forgot to check her front corners as she turned the wheel. Not bad, considering that my first ding was when I rear-ended a guy after being distracted by a passing friend.   Back to main PHOTO DIARY. We brought Nancy Drew to the park on Sunday. She was terrified the whole time and clung to us for safety, which we happily interpreted as affection. You take what you can get.   Back to main MOVIE: THIRTEEN (2003). What's supposed to be a shocking and unflinching portrait of a girl thrown headlong into young adulthood turns out to be nothing more than a glitzy 90-minute after school special, all shot in a nauseating cinema verite and garnished with the necessary amounts of swearing, sex, and drugs needed to give it an R rating. Nicki and I rented this ... thing ... on Sunday and could only watch in embarassed silence. After sitting through 30 minutes of predictably bad behavior and the non-stop shoutmatches that ensue as a result, we made the executive decision to fast forward through much of it (pausing here and there for major plot points) until we reached the movie's over-acted climax and subsequent faux-arthouse denouement, all played to a Liz Phair tune (which is unfair to Liz). Thank god for fast forward, for it saved our precious Sunday. So yeah, best movie ever. I hate you mom! Get off me!   Back to main MOVIE: ELEPHANT (2003). Gus van Sant takes us along a typical day at an upscale high school. I have to mention his name because auteurship is all over this movie, which presents the stark realism of mundane life with luminescent cinematography. An eerie effect. Even more so when the day takes a violent turn as two students begin massacering their classmates and teachers with the casual disinterest of geeks in their element, be it video games or computers or, in this case, guns. Van Sant keeps an iron grip on his unadorned vision of Columbine, relenting only in a handful of moments. There's a long, almost-relvealing take in which one of the teen killers sits in his basement room playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonana while a sketch of an elephant, tacked to the wall, pans by. It's never mentioned again. The rest of the ensemble cast (jock, popular girl, plain jane, budding artiste) is given similar treatment, with each brief take giving us barely perceptible glimpses into their inner motivations. Van Sant does ultimately allow the movie a single metaphor: beautiful, lingering shots of blue skies, with indifferent clouds that sail by without a sound. Which is a non-statement, really, because by now it should be obvious that morality is what we make it. The movie's refusal to either judge or (more importantly) analyze the killers' nihilism left me unsatisfied and grumpy. Which was probably the sort of reaction Van Sant was going for. Either that, or more of the same world-weary head shaking. Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.   Back to main MOVIE: HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (2004). Remember how the first two Harry Potter movies stifled themselves in their relentless faithfulness to the books? Well. That's all over now. This third installment turns out to be great summer entertainment that contains all the elements of a decent movie: actual characters with actual personalities, comfortable pacing, a clear story arc, and crazy special effects. The world of Harry Potter is finally presented properly, with magic and whimsy purposefully infusing every scene and set design--not like the first two, which revealed their sorcery with an empty formality ("Beware the staircases! They tend to move by themselves." Duh.). And did I mention the effects? Hippogriffs, room-sized orreries with floating brass planets, swooping aerial views of Hogwart's Castle, magical GPS-like parchment maps...beautiful stuff. Granted, Hermione's still annoying, Harry's too dead-serious, and the story concludes with yet another Scooby-doo ending, but that's okay -- no one's pretending that the Potter books are great works anyway. The kids squealed, the adults oohed and ahhed, and upon leaving the theater we all felt like we'd just paid not for a chore of cultural literacy but for a real, solid movie made as a movie. You're a wizard, Harry. I'm a what?   Back to main Archives. 17 August 2003 — 24 August 2003 — 31 August 2003 — 07 September 2003 — 14 September 2003 — 02 November 2003 — 09 November 2003 — 16 November 2003 — 23 November 2003 — 30 November 2003 — 07 December 2003 — 01 February 2004 — 08 February 2004 — 15 February 2004 — 22 February 2004 — 29 February 2004 — 07 March 2004 — 14 March 2004 — 21 March 2004 — 28 March 2004 — 04 April 2004 — 11 April 2004 — 18 April 2004 — 25 April 2004 — 02 May 2004 — 09 May 2004 — 16 May 2004 — 23 May 2004 — 30 May 2004 — 06 June 2004 — 13 June 2004 — 20 June 2004 — 27 June 2004 — 04 July 2004 — 11 July 2004 — 18 July 2004 — 25 July 2004 — 01 August 2004 — 08 August 2004 — 15 August 2004 — 22 August 2004 — 29 August 2004 — 05 September 2004 — 12 September 2004 — 19 September 2004 — 26 September 2004 — 03 October 2004 — 10 October 2004 — 17 October 2004 — 24 October 2004 — 31 October 2004 — 07 November 2004 — 14 November 2004 — 21 November 2004 — 28 November 2004 — 05 December 2004 — 12 December 2004 — 19 December 2004 — 26 December 2004 — 02 January 2005 — 09 January 2005 — 23 January 2005 — 30 January 2005 — 06 February 2005 — 13 February 2005 — 20 February 2005 — 27 February 2005 — 13 March 2005 — 20 March 2005 — 27 March 2005 — 03 April 2005 — 10 April 2005 — 17 April 2005 — 24 April 2005 — 01 May 2005 — 08 May 2005 — 22 May 2005 — 29 May 2005 — 05 June 2005 — 12 June 2005 — 19 June 2005 — 26 June 2005 — 03 July 2005 — 10 July 2005 — 17 July 2005 — 24 July 2005 — 31 July 2005 — 07 August 2005 — 14 August 2005 — 28 August 2005 — 04 September 2005 — 25 September 2005 — 02 October 2005 — 09 October 2005 — 30 October 2005 — 06 November 2005 — 13 November 2005 — 20 November 2005 — 27 November 2005 — 04 December 2005 — 18 December 2005 — 01 January 2006 — 08 January 2006 — 15 January 2006 — 22 January 2006 — 05 February 2006 — 26 February 2006 — 12 March 2006 — 19 March 2006 — 26 March 2006 — 02 April 2006 — 16 April 2006 — 23 April 2006 — 30 April 2006 — 07 May 2006 — 14 May 2006 — 21 May 2006 — 04 June 2006 — 18 June 2006 — 25 June 2006 — 16 July 2006 — 23 July 2006 — 06 August 2006 — 13 August 2006 — 03 September 2006 — 17 September 2006 — 01 October 2006 —